Emotions Enlisted
by MoonlitHaze
Summary: She should have known. But she was blinded. The past comes back to haunt her. She is comforted by the past that is now caught in the present.


Emotions Enlisted

**Summary:**

**She should have known. But she was blinded. The past comes back to haunt her. She is comforted by the past that is now caught in the present.**

**Rae/Ror/ w tiny hints of Rae/Mal. First part, Going Under, Evanescence.**

**Rating: PG (some angst, SMALL piece of mild swearing)**

**And let it begin.**

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Emotions Enlisted

_Now I will tell you what I've done for you;  
50 thousand tears I've cried..._

**Raven was meditating in a secluded corner of her room. the hoood of her cloak was off. Threads of azure hair was gently caressing her face as she floated, using her worn chant; Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos; to soothe her.**

**But occasionally, she stumbled over the words, and then quickly had to repeat them over again to keep herself from falling.**

**Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was harsh and thin, as though she was inhaling the last of clean air on the planet.**

**It seemed like it was, to her.**

**Already, weeks had passed since that Malchior had betrayed her, but the pain still was trapped inside the female Titan, infecting, tearing, clawing, screaming at her. Her heart felt like it had been shredded to tiny pieces, and the scattered shards felt like they wouldn't mend.**

**Thirteen windows had broken later on that day.**

**Damn the book that had freed him!**

**No, make that her, Raven, the gloomiest and most forsaken Titan of them all, the creepy, gothic witch. She had freed the horrid dragon. She was entraced by that good for nothing- that _demon,_ that had held her so close against a body of inked paper. It was she who had freed him, not knowing of the near heartbreak she'd have to endure, so willingly.**

**The other Titans thought that her time of looking at the ugly face of betrayal and sorrow was over a day or two after the day she had sealed Malchior back into the leather-bound book which had originally freed him, with her help.**

_Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you..._

**Then again, one of her dry mottos had been 'People come, people go.'**

**So naturally, the Titans assumed that she had got over the whole accursed affair.**

**And she had talked to Mal- _him_ because none of her friends understood her thoroughly. She had easily confided in him- he had understood, but manipulated her along the way. She thought that she was lifted from being- well, lonely, misunderstood from humanity.**

_And you still won't hear me;  
I'm going under  
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself..._

**Raven shifted again, the gem upon her head faintly shimmering a crimson aura, out of her unsteady emotions...**

**She wasn't one for swearing, but- That _damned_ rose crafted out of paper kept sticking out of the book, still as wonderfully intact as ever, beneath the cover on which a heavy ebony vase, lined with scarlet at the rim, lay on.**

**She wasn't one to be terrified easily, or at all.**

**But she swore that at times she heard Malchior breathing; _'Raven, my sweet Raven'_ over and over at night, sometimes adding** _**'My enchantress Raven, won't you let me come back?'.**_

**The first time she had at least reckoned that she heard that, along with the rustling with pages, she shrieked- for once, she had screamed in her life -, then flew over to the book, batting at it with her black fire, but only succeeding in smashing the vase to the floor.**

**The other Titans had ran over immediately.**

**Though when they barged into her room, fully clothed in their battle costumes, they only found Raven sitting on the floor, with closed eyes. The vase was on the book, though with a barely visible 'scar' on the middle of it, a few black sparks still spitting from it.**

**So they left, assuming that it was just another one of the dark Titan's screaming mirrors, or teacups, or whatever. Upon their leave, Raven opened her eyes, which looked as though they were made of glass.**

_Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself-  
Maybe I'll wake up for once  
Not tormented daily,_

_Defeated by you...  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom  
I'm dying again...  
_

**The alarms went on for a few more nights, until the others just stopped coming, because if there _was_ a problem, Raven could handle it herself, without any more doubts.**

**They were right- in a way.**

**Raven, the most fearless of them all, reduced herself to mere trembles when hearing that voice.**_  
_

**That seemed to be her only fear. Hearing Malchior's voice was the thing that most terrified her, the only thing that dreaded her- 'I don't do fear.' She said once.**

**Now she knew, now she _did_ fear, and tried everything to rid of the silent terror that plagued her nowadays.**

_I'm going under, _

_D__rowning in you  
__I'm falling forever;  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under..._

**Hah- she even put a dream-catcher up, suspending it from the ceiling above her bed. Not like it would help those vivid nightmares.**

**She had them from time to time- Malchior's paper face leering at her, a dragon swallowing her, fire enveloping and searing at her...**

_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies,  
So I don't know what's real and what's not...  
_

**Some of her emotions didn't want to to talk about it inside her brain.**

**Only Wisdom, Vengance, Dismal, and Fear did.**

**Wisdom only grudgingly. Sort of.**

_Always confusing the thoughts in my head-  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
I'm dying again...  
_

**She hated herself for letting herself be consumed with fear.**

**Fear. How she hated that word now.**_  
___

_I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever-  
I've got to break through  
  
_**The empath stopped suddenly, letting herself drop to the ground suddenly as a knock resounded on her door.**

**"Who is is?" the girl asked, irritated, only to hear Beast Boy and Cyborg's voices- Starfire's chimed in, suddenly too.**

**A loud string of words came, and Raven opened her eyes, accidently burning herself on her finger with her energy out of irritation. A thin sheen of blood developed.**

**"SHUT UP!" Raven roared as she stalked over to the door, not bothering to fly.**

**Before blasting the door off with dark energy and putting her hood up, she decided something:**

**For now, the girl decided, she would let the subject of Malchior drop from her conscious.**

**No more fear.**

**Malchior's haunting croonings at night would be ignored.**

**She'd take down the stupid dream-catcher, and perhaps replace it with a more sinister one. Maybe black with red, or red with black...**

**Or just not have one at all.**

**And she'd find a way to get rid of that paper rose, even though she could just simply tear it out.**

**Tearing it out just wouldn't be satisfactory enough.__**

_So go on and scream...  
Scream at me: _

_I'm so far away  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breathe- _

_I can't keep going under._

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**How was it? (Sorry if it was too short for your liking)**

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**Pretty-please?**

**I'm warning you, I'll send my rabid monkey after ya... (He throws radio-active donuts! No kidding!)**

**Jenna: (Rolls eyes) Like you have one...**

-MoonlitHaze


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